Your mental health

[Windigo]

Well, apparently my test for the possible serious illness I mentioned (that may be terminal) is still going to happen this wednesday and I will get the results next week.
The cardiologolist said he could rule out the condition, but the pulmonologist isn't sure so now I'm still getting the test and my nerves back until I am sure this is not terminal I'll know for sure on sept 13.

 

[PabloLerntKochen]

Life is going hard on you, that's for sure. I don’t know how to help you, besides of just hoping the best for your future.

Don't apologize for moodswings, if we, the society, can't help you stay healthy, we deserve bad mood. Though it's good to be informed.
As all bad emotions are showing us what's going on, post as much as needed. I'm to young to understand what exactly is going on in our brain and why did I started binge eating again.

 

[Windigo]

Life is going hard on you, that's for sure. I don’t know how to help you, besides of just hoping the best for your future.

Don't apologize for moodswings, if we, the society, can't help you stay healthy, we deserve bad mood. Though it's good to be informed.
As all bad emotions are showing us what's going on, post as much as needed. I'm to young to understand what exactly is going on in our brain and why did I started binge eating again.

Hey, I am sorry to hear that. Maybe stress triggered you? I know stress triggers my BED , though it's been under control for a long time. Do you have anyone you can talk to IRL? That might help

 

[PabloLerntKochen]

Hey, I am sorry to hear that. Maybe stress triggered you? I know stress triggers my BED , though it's been under control for a long time. Do you have anyone you can talk to IRL? That might help

Definitely interpersonal stress. I guess it's my boss and yes I could've someone to talk about that, but it's making me even more sick to think about all this crazy circle. My boss tends to stress me, wants me to archieve higher goals, gain more professionalism and he's the guy who'll show you gratitude, like gifting you things etc. Yet I don't want that stress and that gifts, as it's knocking me out and I'm definitely suffering a bit. Not a lot, but enough to not feel well on almost every day, when I hang around him. He's very authoritarian and making a lot of jokes on me. When we're alone, he's showing me, that he wants to help me as much as he can, yet I still feel like a crybaby or like I'm just doing it for attention.

That's nothing compared to SatNavSaysStraightOn's or your problems, but as I'm getting negative, I can’t help anyone in that state of mind. I won’t give up and put up my head, waiting until I can understand him.

What's bothering me as well, experts in stress or Psyche are always saying, I shouldn't cope with life, I should feel and understand life, yet I don't know what it means.

 

[TastyReuben]

That's nothing compared to SatNavSaysStraightOn's or your problems, but as I'm getting negative, I can’t help anyone in that state of mind.

I would say not to compare what’s stressing you to what’s going on with others. That in itself adds to stress, IMO: “Why am I bothered by this when so many other people have it much worse?” - it makes you feel like maybe you don’t have a right to be overwhelmed by something, yet you’re still overwhelmed with it, which then makes you think there’s something wrong or selfish in being overwhelmed in the first place. It’s a loop of worry over work, then worry over why you’re worrying, and feeling shame that what you’re worrying about isn’t worthy somehow.

We’re all different and we all have different things that eat away at our confidence, and each of us is entitled to that, I think.

As to your boss…boy, I could write about that all day. I’m not great thinker, and I don’t have any better alternative system to put forth, but it’s one thing that I hate about capitalism/consumerism, regardless of how much it’s regulated country to country - this idea that there must always be continued growth, and then we need more and population to support the growth (both in more workers and more consumers), and it never ends. It’s like we’re producing and consuming ourselves into oblivion.

I always get aggravated at work because, with nearly 40 years in my career field, I’ve never, ever once heard management say, “We’re going to ease up this year.”

Nope. When we hire more people, it’s “We hired all these extra people, we should be producing more goods and making more money!”

When we downsize people, what are we told? “We’ve got to tighten up and do more with less, because even though you just lost 20% of your staff, we need to still grow and produce more goods and make more money!”

Geez, it never ends. The older I get, the more crazy it makes me.

 

[Windigo]

Definitely interpersonal stress. I guess it's my boss and yes I could've someone to talk about that, but it's making me even more sick to think about all this crazy circle. My boss tends to stress me, wants me to archieve higher goals, gain more professionalism and he's the guy who'll show you gratitude, like gifting you things etc. Yet I don't want that stress and that gifts, as it's knocking me out and I'm definitely suffering a bit. Not a lot, but enough to not feel well on almost every day, when I hang around him. He's very authoritarian and making a lot of jokes on me. When we're alone, he's showing me, that he wants to help me as much as he can, yet I still feel like a crybaby or like I'm just doing it for attention.

Will you soon be rid of this boss, after your exams? Because I don't think that's a healthy work environment. I've worked in pro kitchens too, and there's a thin line between bullying and a joke. To me it sounds like your boss is picking on you, and you don't have to accept that. I would say, as soon as you've done your exams go work somewhere else. There's loads of jobs available now, and being treated decently is important anywhere. ALSO in a kitchen, no matter what the veterans of the industry might say. The good restaurants are never toxic work environments. You're young, they'll want you anywhere. You deserve better!

That's nothing compared to SatNavSaysStraightOn's or your problems, but as I'm getting negative, I can’t help anyone in that state of mind. I won’t give up and put up my head, waiting until I can understand him.

Don't compare, it's not the suffering olympics here. Everyone's got different problems and all problems are legit. I totally understand why you feel stressed! Don't beat yourself up more, be gentle with yourself.

What's bothering me as well, experts in stress or Psyche are always saying, I shouldn't cope with life, I should feel and understand life, yet I don't know what it means.

Nobody knows the true meaning of life, if that helps. All we can do is take it day by day and make the best of it.

 

[JAS_OH1]

I would say not to compare what’s stressing you to what’s going on with others. That in itself adds to stress, IMO: “Why am I bothered by this when so many other people have it much worse?” - it makes you feel like maybe you don’t have a right to be overwhelmed by something, yet you’re still overwhelmed with it, which then makes you think there’s something wrong or selfish in being overwhelmed in the first place. It’s a loop of worry over work, then worry over why you’re worrying, and feeling shame that what you’re worrying about isn’t worthy somehow.

We’re all different and we all have different things that eat away at our confidence, and each of us is entitled to that, I think.

As to your boss…boy, I could write about that all day. I’m not great thinker, and I don’t have any better alternative system to put forth, but it’s one thing that I hate about capitalism/consumerism, regardless of how much it’s regulated country to country - this idea that there must always be continued growth, and then we need more and population to support the growth (both in more workers and more consumers), and it never ends. It’s like we’re producing and consuming ourselves into oblivion.

I always get aggravated at work because, with nearly 40 years in my career field, I’ve never, ever once heard management say, “We’re going to ease up this year.”

Nope. When we hire more people, it’s “We hired all these extra people, we should be producing more goods and making more money!”

When we downsize people, what are we told? “We’ve got to tighten up and do more with less, because even though you just lost 20% of your staff, we need to still grow and produce more goods and make more money!”

Geez, it never ends. The older I get, the more crazy it makes me.

Off the topic of mental health for a bit, have you seen this? SMH. It's not something I agree with but apparently it's trending.
Employees Stop Going Above And Beyond At Work And Join “Quiet Quitting” Trend, But Bosses Are Not Happy

 

[PabloLerntKochen]

Still off-topic, but that's the big thing I can't grasp. High achievers told me about how meaningful it is, to actually grow in a capitalistic way and as I've never been a communist rebel, I'm trying to accomplish that goal. There's the theory of competition in sex by Darwin and how it drives our day to day live. But I've learned as well, EVERYbody should actually be able to unfold his full potential and not do predatory capitalism, that's true capitalism... tbh, all I understand: you fight as long and hard against other people, with the tools/weapons/skills you've got and just as long, as you can make profit. When you overdo it, your rivals will get sick/die/go crazy because of your actions and you can't do any longterm-profit.

Tasty, you've said once:'' the biggest threat for a human are other humans'', if memory serves me right and I must agree.

 

[JAS_OH1]

Still off-topic, but that's the big thing I can't grasp. High achievers told me about how meaningful it is, to actually grow in a capitalistic way and as I've never been a communist rebel, I'm trying to accomplish that goal. There's the theory of competition in sex by Darwin and how it drives our day to day live. But I've learned as well, EVERYbody should actually be able to unfold his full potential and not do predatory capitalism, that's true capitalism... tbh, all I understand: you fight as long and hard against other people, with the tools/weapons/skills you've got and just as long, as you can make profit. When you overdo it, your rivals will get sick/die/go crazy because of your actions and you can't do any longterm-profit.

Tasty, you've said once:'' the biggest threat for a human are other humans'', if memory serves me right and I must agree.

It's all about finding a balance in every aspect of life. Moderation is the key.

 

[karadekoolaid]

Your boss does what he/she has to do - "boss". That means he/she also has someone above looking for achievements, goals, extra effort, etc. The best bosses in the world know how to manage their people so that everyone is focussed on the results and everyone works, as a team, to achieve those results. The worst bosses just bully, because they´re not capable of achieving their own goals, let alone the goals of others.
You? You only have to strive to achieve your own goals, nothing else. Anything above and beyond is out of your reach, and therefore, not worth stressing about. Focus only on what you need to do and do it to the best of your ability.

 

[The OMWC]

It's all about finding a balance in every aspect of life. Moderation is the key.

Moderation in all things, and moderation is the first to go!

 

[JAS_OH1]

Moderation in all things, and moderation is the first to go!

Go where?

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

Go where?

I suspect if we knew that, we'd be able to get it back so much more easily.

 

[rascal]

Some of you know that I'm having a hard time with my physical health at the moment and as such my mental health is also getting hard hit yet again.

Last week I was diagnosed with severe osteoarthritis in my neck. There is a lot of bony growths on my vertebrae trapping various nerve roots and causing me constant issues with my arms yet again. At night my arms are going numb, as is 1 of my legs. I've also now got constant pins and needles in both hands and fingers and occasionally shooting pains (a cross between pins and needles and an electric shock) in my right arm.

The reason is obvious sadly. You don't need to be able to read CT scans to know that the human body is meant to be symmetrical.

View attachment 89948

A nerve root at C6 & C7, controlling my arms and various sympathetic nervous system functions such as body temperature control & sweating, runs through that lack of 'gap' on the left. This is just 1 of 3 places where the nerve root is being compromised, 2 of then are this bad, 1 still has some space. Without surgery I'll loose control of both arms, and several other important bodily functions but at least this time it's "only" a nerve root affect and not the spinal cord itself.

Unfortunately they are the same vertebrae I had life saving surgery on 4 years ago (though not actually related to that issue), so I need to stay with the same neurosurgeon who isn't cheap. (The technology used to fuse the neck isn't yet commonly used because it's still relatively new.) The difference between what insurance & Medicare meet use known as the gap payment. Last time it was over $16,000 along with 4 months in hospital, 6 weeks in another state 800km away from home.

I have another appointment to see him at the start of next month when I'll find out what's in store for the next stage in my ongoing health problems. Until then I've a whole range of other tests and consultants appointments etc.

So if I'm a little absent, short tempered or just 'moody' I'll apologize now. I'm having another tough time at the moment and things are not likely to improve until after surgery. And unfortunately, it is also very likely to reoccur multiple times for the rest of my life.

My doctor has also told me he thinks it unlikely I'll be able to return to work and should look at a disability pension and NDIS. Not what I wanted to hear to be honest.

That's so sad to read chick. Just follow docs orders and you will find peace I hope. Sending hugs.

Russ

 

[TastyReuben]

Off the topic of mental health for a bit, have you seen this? SMH. It's not something I agree with but apparently it's trending.
Employees Stop Going Above And Beyond At Work And Join “Quiet Quitting” Trend, But Bosses Are Not Happy

Yup, and I laughed when I first read about that a couple of months ago, because as I get closer and closer to retirement, that’s more and more how I feel. I get it.

Bosses - I once had someone tell me that my job as a salaried employee was to work as little as possible without getting fired and my boss’s job was to work me as much as possible without making me quit, and that point somewhere in the middle is the sweet spot for both.

I know my first manager when I started working for my current employer felt exactly that way, and even told me in my first review that his job was to pile as much on me as possible until I broke, and that’s how he’d find out my limit.