Your mental health

TastyReuben said:
Yup, and I laughed when I first read about that a couple of months ago, because as I get closer and closer to retirement, that’s more and more how I feel. I get it.

Bosses - I once had someone tell me that my job as a salaried employee was to work as little as possible without getting fired and my boss’s job was to work me as much as possible without making me quit, and that point somewhere in the middle is the sweet spot for both.

I know my first manager when I started working for my current employer felt exactly that way, and even told me in my first review that his job was to pile as much on me as possible until I broke, and that’s how he’d find out my limit.
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Must be why I have been self-employed most of my life!
 
PabloLerntKochen said:
Definitely interpersonal stress. I guess it's my boss and yes I could've someone to talk about that, but it's making me even more sick to think about all this crazy circle. My boss tends to stress me, wants me to archieve higher goals, gain more professionalism and he's the guy who'll show you gratitude, like gifting you things etc. Yet I don't want that stress and that gifts, as it's knocking me out and I'm definitely suffering a bit. Not a lot, but enough to not feel well on almost every day, when I hang around him. He's very authoritarian and making a lot of jokes on me. When we're alone, he's showing me, that he wants to help me as much as he can, yet I still feel like a crybaby or like I'm just doing it for attention.

That's nothing compared to SatNavSaysStraightOn's or your problems, but as I'm getting negative, I can’t help anyone in that state of mind. I won’t give up and put up my head, waiting until I can understand him.

What's bothering me as well, experts in stress or Psyche are always saying, I shouldn't cope with life, I should feel and understand life, yet I don't know what it means.
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Sorey6to hear this . Try not to worry, I find the worst that could happen hardly ever does so try go with the flow.
Prolly not much help but my thoughts are with you brother. :)

Russ
 
TastyReuben said:
Yup, and I laughed when I first read about that a couple of months ago, because as I get closer and closer to retirement, that’s more and more how I feel. I get it.

Bosses - I once had someone tell me that my job as a salaried employee was to work as little as possible without getting fired and my boss’s job was to work me as much as possible without making me quit, and that point somewhere in the middle is the sweet spot for both.

I know my first manager when I started working for my current employer felt exactly that way, and even told me in my first review that his job was to pile as much on me as possible until I broke, and that’s how he’d find out my limit.
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Lol. When I first went on the road as a rep 35 years ago an older fella told me this and it's been so true over the years.
Russ tell them what they want to hear.
And just do your budget nothing more.
Worked for me


Russ
 
My mate butcher called in yesterday. He went back to docs as meds weren't working so they gave him more ???
Ends in azapam so I know it's a happy pill. Said hes feeling better. Sounded more happy. Sometimes you need to ask for help. Everyone mental health is on high alert atm. A guy in a psych ward was recently let back In community only to relapse and stab a woman to death outside her home. A 2 min drive from me. Apparently staff advised the doctor. Hes since resigned.

Russ
 
PabloLerntKochen said:
Got a grip on my binge eating, now I'm back on the road. My current reads are eating disorders and depression/burnout.
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In the dialect I grew up with, we had two different words for "eat," essen and fressen, the latter implying binge. Is that the case with contemporary German?
 
Now I have heard the news that I actually have CTEPH and it has sunk in a little I am a lot less depressed than the first time. I know it means most likely I won't live past 50 unless I can be operated on ( not everyone can, depending on the location of the clots). But I have made peace with that, as I've already beat the odds statistically by surviving PE's four times in order to get this diagnosis. Statistics are just that after all.

Of course sometimes it feels unfair, but I can now at least make the most of the time I still have. Many never have that chance. I hope I can make it worth it.
 
You'll make it worth it, there's no chance for you, to not do it. With your genes, you could even get in the 80s and make another miracle
 
My wife was told she wouldn't live to 40 because of cardiomyopathy. She made it to 59, and her heart was still fine (cancer took her away). So don't always believe the negative prognosis.

The medical progress for clotting disorders has been rapid and amazing. Please keep hope.
 
TastyReuben said:
I would say not to compare what’s stressing you to what’s going on with others. That in itself adds to stress, IMO: “Why am I bothered by this when so many other people have it much worse?” - it makes you feel like maybe you don’t have a right to be overwhelmed by something, yet you’re still overwhelmed with it, which then makes you think there’s something wrong or selfish in being overwhelmed in the first place. It’s a loop of worry over work, then worry over why you’re worrying, and feeling shame that what you’re worrying about isn’t worthy somehow.

We’re all different and we all have different things that eat away at our confidence, and each of us is entitled to that, I think.

As to your boss…boy, I could write about that all day. I’m not great thinker, and I don’t have any better alternative system to put forth, but it’s one thing that I hate about capitalism/consumerism, regardless of how much it’s regulated country to country - this idea that there must always be continued growth, and then we need more and population to support the growth (both in more workers and more consumers), and it never ends. It’s like we’re producing and consuming ourselves into oblivion.

I always get aggravated at work because, with nearly 40 years in my career field, I’ve never, ever once heard management say, “We’re going to ease up this year.”

Nope. When we hire more people, it’s “We hired all these extra people, we should be producing more goods and making more money!”

When we downsize people, what are we told? “We’ve got to tighten up and do more with less, because even though you just lost 20% of your staff, we need to still grow and produce more goods and make more money!”

Geez, it never ends. The older I get, the more crazy it makes me.
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Amen to that :(
 
It is good to know that more men are coming forward and admitting they need help, male suicide rate is way too high, especially when there is still a stigma regarding mental health. Some people don't believe it is an actual 'thing' and cannot be educated to the contrary.
There is a lot of pressure to look a certain way, dress a certain way, earn x amount of money etc...we all need to be able step away and focus on ourselves and what is right for us, it isn't selfish, it is looking after ourselves.
 
Lullabelle said:
Some people don't believe it is an actual 'thing' and cannot be educated to the contrary.
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That’s very true, and it’s so frustrating!

I have a good handful of anxiety disorder male relatives, a couple bipolar ones, and one that has a severe social disorder, like borderline personality disorder or something like that; also a smattering of depression.

IOW, somewhat typical these days, if you look close enough.

Anyway, I was on another forum a while back (a very close-knit one like here), and someone related that their adult child had killed himself after years of depression.

Someone else on the forum came back with the opinion that depression and anxiety are recent conditions, mainly brought about by the internet, and what her son should have done was just get a dog, because raising a dog requires you to think of something other than yourself.

🤨

There’s so much wrong with that, it beggars belief, but that’s how too many people feel about it, like it’s a character flaw or just a lack of willpower.

The problem was, though…he wasn’t trying to be a jerk, he thought he was being helpful.
 
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